Saturday, January 30, 2010

Tough lessons

I think I probably knew this before...but the last couple of days have really convinced me. I react to the experiences my kids have as if they were my own experience. Is this what mom's do? Do we internalize our kids' good and bad experiences into our own emotional life?

As much as I have been writing about thinking on good things and making the most of every moment, I am in a funky that I can't really explain but is best put, "I feel out of sorts". I am hurting for my kids.

Without going into details, suffice it to say, my kids have had some tough lessons this week. I so want them to only have good never be get all that they want. I know that isn't reasonable for myself...why do I want it for my kids...why do I somehow expect it to happen? I dream big for my kids and I am left grieving when they hurt.

I realize there isn't anything I can do to "fix" the situation for them, but I want to. I can offer a listening ear and, if they let me, some insights from my years of valuable experience :). It seems that is all they need. If I get too upset about their "lessons", and internalize them, they begin to feel that they can't share with me or, worse yet, they take responsibility for my feelings.

So...all this I ponder what it means to personally "love the moment"...I need to remember the same rules apply to the kids. They need the good and bad just as much as I do. It helps shape helps them learn what they want from life...and it gives them belief in their own ability to handle life's ups and downs. I can see them confidently handling both...all that life throws at them. That feels much better than internalizing their hurt...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I LOVE this post. I've been struggling with this recently too. Your words are so helpful. ;)