Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Locally we are experiencing a beautiful crisis. One of my favorite people lost her husband in an accident. She has four babies to get raised. She is surrounded, right now, with friends and family and food and help. She is treading water in that love, and it's a beautiful thing to watch.

So beautiful, in fact, that I want to recreate it for our community. Watching my friends react to this loss, seeing them expand to their very tender best, witnessing people giving in their ache...this is what I want for our single moms. It became so clear for me. I want that support whether a woman has been widowed or abandoned, whether she filed or he did.

Is there any less need?

This has impacted me on a number of levels, both personally and professionally, both heart and head. Cathy and I talked about it over the weekend: How amazing would it be for people to come together and protect the most vulnerable? This is what the Church is supposed to do, and sometimes it happens. But could it become what Eve's Daughters is known for?

On my other blog, I just wrote, "Sadly, I think most of us have only experienced a taste of this (kind of community) ever in our darkest times. How do we fix that--so that being alone in your abandonment or betrayal or shame is the exception and not the rule?"

I wait, right now, knowing things that are not ready to be discussed. There will be time for that, for me and my friend. But I pray there's also a time for all of us to all come together--that it will become our new norm.

Join us?


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Five Bucks

Well. We did our little shpeaking gig for Eve's Daughters this morning to a couple hundred women. Despite my nervousness, despite Cathy's back being out and having a really sick daughter at home, it went really well. At the end of our little deal we have the Big Ask for volunteers, etc., and I made a joke about people unloading any unwieldy piles of cash our way--now that we can give them an honest-to-gosh tax exempt donation letter. Of course I was not expecting anything.

But then the coolest thing happened: A little gray-haired lady came up to me afterwards and grabbed for my hand. She then placed a wad of money in it and said, "It's not much, but I'd like to make a donation to your organization."

Oh. My. Gosh. This was like my grandmother slipping me candy money when I was a kid. It was so incredibly sweet, and I just held onto her hand for a minute and thanked her. Why did I get such a sense of the widow Jesus spoke of and her two copper coins? I obviously have no idea of her financial situation...but I gathered she may have emptied her wallet for Eve's Daughters' benefit.

She gave us five singles. And Cathy and I are going to get a special mat and frame them like they do at the restaurants. Our first donation! Now we just need some office space...

Saturday, May 9, 2009

God is Good

Well it's official! Eve's Daughters is now a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt non-profit! We filed the paperwork with the IRS four weeks ago and received the determination letter in the mail today - the day before Mother's Day! (A miracle to be sure! The IRS website says they are experiencing a 90-day delay in processing paperwork for tax-exempt status! Which is typically a 6-12 week process to begin with!) What a fabulous Mother's Day present...the start of blessings for single mom's in the Portland Metro area...(and beyond??)

Somehow it seems official now...like we are grown up and real! Let the real work can begin...so much to do...what's next...

The journey continues. I wonder who might be the first to donate to our cause? It's tax deductible! Want to join us on the ride?

PS- Happy Mother's Day! This is a good one...

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Humpty Dumpty

I have had a great fall…and I am broken into a million little pieces…

I have been walking the narrow wall of teenage parenting…and today I fell. Fell victim to the biggest lie…my kids will appreciate everything I do for them and act accordingly. They will drop at my feet and worship my sacrifices, give me loving praise, and to show me their devotion…will do the dishes, clean up their room, and give me a kiss on the cheek before brushing their teeth and going to bed.

I fell victim to wanting approval from my kids…for all that I have done…for all the love I have given them…for the trade-offs made to make their lives the best I can. It was an honest mistake, a human one…I needed love…I needed someone to care…I needed someone with skin to tell me I am okay…to appreciate me.

So here I sit, broken in tiny pieces and too exhausted to put humpty dumpty back together again. Where can I turn? The answer is back to the One that I turned to in 1996 when I first realized how broken I was. Back to God…the one that saves me from myself.

It sounds all too sweet…too cliché. But it is real. God is the only one that will save me. Will love me the way I should be loved…will appreciate me for the person He made me to be when He conceived of me. Only, He isn’t here…in the physical sense that is. He can’t back me up with the kids, hold me when I am falling to pieces, or discipline the kids when I have holed up in the back of my dark closet…

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again…but God can. Funny…after all the times He has come with the super glue…He keeps coming...patiently, lovingly putting me back together again…when I am too exhausted to manage it myself…when I am too busy buying the lies.